Earlier this week I got on the scale and had a breakthrough, however, I haven’t dipped down that low since. This evening I had a meltdown. My weight loss expectation vs. real weight lost…or not lost as the case may be, is at opposite ends of the spectrum. It started when Bill got out the scale this evening to see how much he had lost since his surgery. He has lost almost 10 lbs without really trying plus he has slept a lot due to his body needing to heal and recover so he has been even less active than normal. Well, of course I had to jump on to see my weight. Seriously??? I have been working on this for 24 days now and not even a full 5 lbs. Oh the frustration! I mean if I was talking to a client in the same position I would tell them to stay on course. It will happen. Bill piped up and said the same things I already knew. A friend I was texting asked if my clothes fit any differently yet…no they don’t. Until I got on the scale I was teetering on skipping my walk/run today but after my meltdown I couldn’t skip it. I am not sure yet what all is going on but the weight is not coming off as quickly as it did in 2011. Bill offered that quite possibly I had exchanged fat loss for muscle gain because I added in the strength training. Maybe. Originally I planned to wait until 60 days before I checked all the scale data but I’m thinking I may need to see an increase in muscle percentage and loss in fat percentage to help my feelings. I will do the official check tomorrow but a preliminary check showed a 1% fat loss and .5% muscle gain. Since I checked it after my run I will recheck in the morning around the time of the first weigh in. This entire evening just brought back all the feelings that started me down this path to begin with. Bill told me he still thought I was pretty but I don’t feel pretty or attractive at all. Hopefully, things will start to move in the right direction. Everything else in my life I am extremely patient with but not this. I am extremely impatient when it comes to my weight loss.
One thing this did for me was motivate me to run more during my walk/run this evening. On the way back to the car I ran all but a tenth of a mile.
Quitting is not an option so the only choice I have at this point is to keep pushing forward and trust that I will breakthrough. I’m not saying I am done crying because I’m not but I will put my big girl panties on and give it everything I have. It is time to look at what I’m doing objectively to see if I’m doing my best. Changes are coming to the goals but I need to figure out what changes need to be made. I know for certain my diet needs to be adjusted. At this point I am praying for some good news on the scale in the morning.
Water goal met…check
Breakfast goal met…check
Dinner goal met…check
Exercise goal met…check