My name is Patti Dillard and I am a Realtor (15 years) and a personal trainer (6 years) yet I find myself at 48 years old, 5’7″ with a small frame carrying 205 lbs. Being a trainer I know what to do but find myself struggling to get the weight off and stay committed to a lifestyle where I practice what I preach. So here with each of you following I am beginning a new weight loss journey. I have decided to share this journey as a means of accountability for myself and in hopes of being an inspiration to any who follow and may be fighting their own weight loss battle.
A little back story for you to have a better understanding. As a child I was skinny as a rail, I could eat anything I wanted and never gain a pound. The struggle with my weight began to show up in my teens and 20’s. As I went through my 30’s it became even more difficult. I could no longer eat whatever or however much I wanted, I love to eat. I have roots in New Orleans and we enjoy the flavors of food. When I eat it is an experience and joy. Early in my 40’s a friend asked me to join her in a boot camp that was once a week. Her invitation came at the right moment. I was wearing size 12 and needed to purchase size 14. The size 12 clothes were too tight. I jumped at the opportunity and it gave me accountability. I had to show up because I was paying for the boot camp and didn’t want to waste my money or let my friend down by not showing up. At this point I was not a trainer so I didn’t know what I know now. With guidance from the coach I worked hard and lost about 60 lbs. I went from a size 12, really 14, to a size 4. I felt great and so thrilled with what I had accomplished. The photo to the right was at my best. I was never turning back….
Life happens…fast forward to 2013 when Bill and I were getting married and I had already gained some of the weight back but found a wedding dress I loved. The dress was on sale at a fabulous price. The sales clerk was condescending because the dress did not look good on me nor did it fit correctly due to the weight I had gained. As I stood in the dressing room wanting to cry I resolved to change me not pay to alter the dress. Alterations were going to cost more than the price of the dress. I was a woman on a mission. Wedding day arrived and the dress fit perfect! Fast forward to 2016, we had a cruise vacation planned. I worked hard because I wanted to feel better about myself on the ship and I had dresses I wanted to wear but again modified me to fit in the dresses. A pattern is emerging… My weight has been up and down like a window shade.
My work as a Realtor and handling all the admin work for Dillard Training has me sitting in front of a computer long periods of time. Time management is not my strongest skill set…in fact it quite possibly could be my worst. Hours go by and I find myself still sitting and have no clue how much time has passed. I know sitting long periods is one of the weight loss enemies.
Now that I have laid out the short version of my background, let me open up about the emotional side and frustration of this process. As a trainer I know what to do to lose weight. I know what worked before. I recognize my list of problems to overcome, I love to eat, I love sugar (sugar is my crack) and sugary drinks, I struggle to get my workouts in, I am a procrastinator and I am 5 years into menopause as well. None of my clothes fit, my self esteem is at an all time low, I am heavier than I have EVER been in my life and I am thoroughly embarrassed to be seen by people and tell anyone I am a trainer, I feel their judgement. I hate how I feel and look. There have been countless times when I have sat down and cried while trying to find something to wear to meet a client and show them property or go to a closing. I have been processing and trying to get motivated to get back on track yet I find myself caving into the cravings for a little something sweet, the vanilla coke or fruit flavored tea. I finally opened up to Bill and expressed my frustration with myself and lack of self control. I mean I had done this before, right? Why can’t I seem to do it again? What was the “it” that motivated me to stick to my guns and drive through overcoming? I have prayed asking for wisdom and help to recapture that spark and determination.
In the course of mine and Bill’s discussion this evening regarding a means for accountability the light came on to blog my journey. Here we are on this journey together. I will be updating my progress. I hope this helps you as much as it does me. There will be photos along the way. Please feel free to comment and ask questions.